Choose worthy friends

When we associate with a person we subconsciously absorb some of thats persons values. Shaping our environment through the people in it is important in our youth’s quest for building good character. We can ideally choose to surround our youth with people of character that can support them in their own higher character development. (not always an easy task!) Strong characters will have the qualities of compassion, wisdom, kindness, integrity, temperance and justice and generosity. These people also believe that you can develop virtuous qualities and build strong character through practice and dedication. 

These strong characters are actively looking (they believe) in personal growth and development through the process of disciplined and continuous self improvement. These people are important to include in our youths life. The youth is encouraged to watch and copy these people - to use them as mentors and trusted advisors or simply as people to associate with. Through contact with these people the youth will pick up admirable habits. People who do not have the traits that will enhance the youths growth are not encouraged to remain in the youths life. 

Many youth will not identify with any role model or mentor. Looking externally for inspiration the youth are constantly reminded of corrupt leaders, hedonistic movie personalities and cheating sport icons- fallen heroes and fantasy games in a world devoid of reason  True happiness comes from within the individual. Communicating why some associates are better for the youth’s development helps give them the skills to pick their own admirable friends. Picking virtuous  friends will help them understand the importance of their life study. 

When the youth have to associate with people who may not be beneficial to them, in a work or educational setting, it may help them to take the role of teacher. Encourage them to imagine themselves teaching these non-virtuous people a better way by their actions and words. Encourage the youth to define how they would like to be measured by others. They will be demonstrating a virtuous life. The youth will  hone their practice and empower themselves to move beyond the immediate situation and at the same time maybe setting a positive example for others. Recognizing non- beneficial people (people who do not have positive traits) and then working hard to maintain their own integrity will help them build strength and good character.

Another technique would be to look at the friend/associate and situation and imagine that you are looking at it from a distance- Someone who is not attached to the situation. We call this the disinterested observer. Someone looking at the situation from a distance. This disinterested observer will not be emotionally attached. It makes it easier to not get caught up in the drama.

When it is all said and done it may be in their best interest to change associates rather than hanging with people that will not move them forward. The youth themselves need to understand what moving forward looks like for them and then to remain clear to their purpose.